Anwyn Turns One

She’s a one year old.  She’s a toddler.  She walks, she mimics words, she expresses her self clearly.  She eats solid food, she drinks from a cup, she gets into everything. She is absolutely incredible.

A year ago today, I was in a hospital bed, surrounded by family, drugged out of my head (I had a cesarian) and held in my arms my little girl.  She was so tiny, at only 5 lbs. 5 oz. but already full of energy.  Even at one day old she had no issues expressing herself.  Now I can’t even recognize her as the same baby.  I look at her and think, “Was she ever that small?”  It’s strange how something can seem like it happened yesterday, and forever ago all at the same time.

So happy birthday to my amazing, expressive, creative, clever, beautiful little girl, Anwyn.  May you stay as curious and playful as you are today, and may your beauty always shine from within you.  

Published in: on August 31, 2010 at 9:19 pm  Leave a Comment  

To My Father

Anyone who knows me knows how much I’m like my mother.  If it weren’t for her, I have no idea who I would be.  She’s given me drive, passion, and one hell of a sharp tongue.  I am so grateful to her for so many things.

It’s not always obvious that my father and I have much in common.  Our personalities are not as identical as my mother an I.  But when I think about it, he gave me so much.  So for fathers day, I have to say to my dad, thank you.

Thank you for being so protective over me.  For teaching me how to defend myself both physically and mentally against anything that might come my way.  Thank you for preparing me for whatever might happen.

Thank you for showing me how to live my life without fear of anything.  For showing me how to move forward with my dreams and desires.  For teaching me to believe that anything I want is well within my reach.

Thank you for all of the hard work you did to make sure your children had a good life.

Thank you for showing me what a husband and father should be.  For giving me a wonderful guideline in choosing my own husband.  And thank you for being as kind a father to Aaron as you have always been to me.

Thank you for being an amazing Grandfather to my two kids.  For always striving to entertain them.  For always lighting up their faces.

Thank you for all the love, wisdom, and joy you have given us.  Thanks for everything you have shown us.  Thank you for the amazing places you have taken us, the art and music you have shared with us, and the experiences that you have made possible for us.

Thank you.

(Of course now I’m going to hear it from my mom.  All she got for mother’s day was a phone call.  I guess I’ll have to make up for it next year.  Hopefully she’ll forget by then.)

Bucket List

Some one sent me this in an email, and instead of forwarding it to a bunch of soon to be irritated people, I decided to share it here.  So here it is… things I’ve done in my life time.

Have you…

  • Shot a gun… Yes
  • Gone on a blind date… No
  • Skipped school… No.  I know, I’m such a square!
  • Been to Canada… Nope, parents went without me.
  • Been to Alaska… No but I’d like to.
  • Been to Cuba… No
  • Been to Europe… Yes, England
  • Been to Las Vegas… *Grumbles* No
  • Been to Mexico… No, but I’m not sure why not.
  • Been to Florida… Yes, multiple times.
  • Been to California… Lived there for two years
  • Been to Maine… Nope
  • Been on a plane… Dad used to work for American Airlines, so yeah.
  • Been on a Cruise Ship… No, but that’s another thing I’d like to do
  • Been on a one day Lake Cruise Ship… No
  • Served on a Jury… Yeah
  • Been lost… Many times
  • Been on the opposite side of the country... Opposite of what?  I live in Texas. I’ve been in both California and New York.
  • Gone to New York City… Yep. Again multiple times.
  • Swam in the Ocean… Yes
  • Cried yourself to sleep… Yeah
  • Played Cops and Robbers… Yes
  • Played Cowboys and Indians… Yes, but aren’t those the same games?
  • Sang Karaoke… Yes
  • Paid for a meal with coins only… Fast food meal, but yeah.
  • Made prank phone calls… Not in a long time, but yes.
  • Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose ... Probably
  • Read the Bible completely through... Not yet.  Maybe some day.
  • Caught a snowflake on your tongue… Yes
  • Danced in the rain… Yes
  • Written a letter to Santa Claus… Yes
  • Been kissed under the mistletoe… Yes
  • Watched the sunrise with someone… Yes
  • Blown bubbles… Hasn’t everyone?
  • Gone ice skating… Yes
  • Gone skiing… *Groan* and discovered it was not my thing at all, yes.
  • Camped out under the stars… Yes
  • Seen something so beautiful that it took your breath away… Yes, Grand Canyon did it first, then both of my children.
  • Are or have been married... Married for six years.
  • Have children… Two beautiful kids
  • Have / had a pet… Yes, we have Jack and Bonny, our insane cats.
  • Been skinny dipping outdoors… Not in a very long time, but yes.
  • Been fishing…  Once.  And I don’t like fish.
  • Been boating… Yes
  • Been water skiing... No
  • Been hiking… Yes
  • Been camping in a trailer/RV… No, always took a tent.
  • Flown in a small 4-seater airplane… Yes, my aunt and uncle’s plane.
  • Flown in a glider... No
  • Been flying in a helicopter... No
  • Been flying in a hot air balloon… No, but I want to!
  • Been BUNGEE-jumping… No, never appealed to me.
  • Gone to a drive-in movie… If I ever did I don’t remember.
  • Done something that should have killed you… No?  I can’t think of anything.
  • Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life… Done things that I wish I could take back, yeah.
  • Been to Africa... No
  • Ever ride an elephant… You know what?  I haven’t.  I’ve been on a camel, but not an elephant. Maybe I’ll take Ash on the elephant next year at Scarborough Faire.
  • Ever eaten just cookies for dinner… Maybe. (Don’t judge me)
  • Ever been on T.V. Yeah.
  • Ever steal any traffic signs... No.  Should I have?
  • Ever been in a car accident… Yes.
  • Had a nickname... Yes
  • Name Ever been in the local paper… I’ve been in group photos in the paper, yeah.
  • Ever been to Asia… No
  • Ever been to Australia… No, but some day.
  • Been ski-diving… No
  • Favorite drink: Non-alcoholic… Cherry Limade
  • Tattoos… One, on my back
  • Do you drive a 4-door vehicle… Yes
  • Favorite number... 3, 6, and 9
  • Favorite holiday… Halloween
  • Favorite dessert… Chocolate
Published in: on June 9, 2010 at 7:15 pm  Leave a Comment  

Still here

Some day I’ll be able to start a post on this blog without an apology about how long it’s been since I posted. Today is not that day.  2010 is officially trying to kick my ass.

Aaron has a new job.  Nothing really to say there except that it’s awesome and everyone in our house is much happier.

My brother got married last weekend.  It was a beautiful ceremony, a fun reception, and everyone seems to have had a blast.  Well, there was one exception, but that person was being intentionally difficult and no one cared what she thought by the end.

Anwyn is huge.  Ok, maybe not huge, but she feels like she’s gotten really big.  She rolls around without any issues and she desperately wants to crawl.  She babbles and giggles and makes all sorts of noises at us.  She has two teeth, and today she signed “eat” along with her signing video.  Well, she signed something that looked like eat, but i could tell that’s what she meant.

Ashton started school!  He loves it, they love him, everyone is happy.  He’s going two days a week right now, and we might try to switch to three later on.  It’s an amazing preschool where they teach music and dance classes.  This means they wear his butt out and he actually takes naps again and oh my god did I mention how much I love this school?

Also on the Ashton front, Lissa finally made him a stuffed animal that she started ages ago and it’s kind of awesome.  Back story time:

When Ash was younger we had a yarn store down the road.  I went in there looking for a gift for Lissa, and the owner (who loved kids) grabbed my son and wandered off with him.  When they came back he was drooling all over a ball of green fuzzy yarn.  The owner said it was a gift for him, that that maybe someone could knit him something cute out of it.  She saw froggies.  I saw a baby plush Cthulhu.  Lissa saw things my way, got started on the toy, put it away to do something else, and there it sat.  For a while.

She finally got it finished, and now Ashton loves it.  At first it was his dragon, and then we explained that it had a name.  So he now calls it Lulu.  When we call it Cthulhu he corrects us.  And then asks why we’re giggling.

It snowed recently, and I owe you a picture post of it because it was a lot of fun.  We got about 12 inches, which is unheard of in North Texas.  We lost power for three days.  Fun times.

2009 and the New Year

Stolen from Lissa, because that’s what good friends do.  They steal memes.  Also ice cream.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?  I had a girl. I can’t say that I had a child, because I already have Ashton, but a girl is a new experience.  So was having a planned c-section.  It was nice having a baby without all of the drama of an emergency surgery.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year???  Lets see…

I wanted to work on dancing, but the pregnancy thing kind of messed that up.  I wanted to work on a group that does parades for the studio, and didn’t get around to saying a word about it (until this last month, and it wasn’t to Isis).  I didn’t work on jewelry making the way I wanted to, but I have started to tat.  I’m not very good at it yet, but I’m getting there.  Also, I’m slowly but surely learning how to sew.  Did not find any part time jobs, and didn’t get to work on flower design at all this year.  One day I want to make a job out of that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth???  Um… me?  Also, on the exact same day, in California, Aaron’s cousin had her second child as well.  Both girls.  Ours is our precious Anwyn, and theirs is a cute little one named Brynn (I think that’s the spelling).

4. Did anyone close to you die???  We lost some people in the Ren community this year.  Some suddenly, and some who we knew were getting ill.

5. What countries did you visit???  Man… I didn’t even visit the country we have around here.  Seriously, I didn’t get out much this year, what with the giant belly and all.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?  More money.  Aaron’s job cut his pay at the beginning of the year and we’ve been much tighter financially this year than we like being.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? ??  August 31, because my daughter was born that day.  That’s pretty much it.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year???  Dude, I created another life.  An actual human being.  What the hell did you do?

9. What was your biggest failure? ??  Not finding my husband a new job.  And not getting the boy fully potty trained, as I had planned to.  He’s a tough nut to crack.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?  This pregnancy was much harder than the last, and after the surgery I had some complications.  What turned out to be an infection looked like I was bleeding excessively.  That was a rather scary moment.

11. What was the best thing you bought?  I’d say Anwyn, but that seems tacky.  Babies are expensive though.  I think it might be the chairs to go with my new table.  They’re very nice.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? ??  Ashton’s, for almost having figured out the potty.  And for all of the amazing things he’s learned over the last year.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed???  My son’s, because he’s a three year old.  He can too be the answer to both questions!  Politicians in general annoy the hell out of me, and I’m tired of them (as well as the media at large) preying on the fears of the public.

14. Where did most of your money go? Medical bills.

15. What did you get really excited about? My baby girl.  She’s amazing, and exhausting.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009? I can’t really think of one.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:? – happier or sadder? A little sadder. This time last year I had just found out that I was pregnant.  This year things have been difficult – thinner or fatter? More or less the same, but since I had a baby 4 months ago, I guess that’s not a bad thing – richer or poorer? Most certainly poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?  I’m not sure.  Maybe get out more.  I’ve turned into a bit of a home body lately.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?  Being pregnant.  I know, not really possible, but toward the end there I was D-O-N-E.

20. How did you spend Christmas?  My parents came to town, and we spent it with Aaron’s family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?  I had a baby, so yes.

22. What was your favorite TV program?  Most certainly Glee.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?  Not really.

24. What was the best book you read?  I don’t know, but I Hate Myself and I Want To Die was up there.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?   The show Phineas and Ferb?  I don’t really know.

26. What did you want and get? My new table.  A hula hoop.  A tatting shuttle.

27. What did you want and not get?  I don’t know.  Maybe some new costume stuff, like a new skirt.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?  We didn’t get to see to many movies this year.  I didn’t really have a favorite.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?   We had a party, and I turned 30.  Anwyn spent the night at Aaron’s parents’ place, and she did fine, but she hasn’t been able to stay with anyone since then.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  I’m not sure.  Maybe being able to get Ash into a school program or finding a way to contribute to the house financially.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? Mom, minus the Mom Jeans.  Those things are horrible.  Mostly maternity clothes.

32. What kept you sane?  Dancing.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? For some reason I think John Simm is painfully adorable.  Especially as the Master.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?  Gay marriage.  Aaron and I have talked about getting our marriage changed to a civil union if that ever gets passed in Texas.  We’re not religious people, and if marriage is a religious event, why should we call our union that?

35. Who did you miss?  No one, really.  I occasionally think about old friends and wonder how they are, but that’s as far as it goes.

36. Who was the best new person you met?  I didn’t get out much, didn’t meet a whole lot of new people.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.?  No matter what, no two children are the same.  Even if you’ve had children already, you’re never ready to have another one.  And the most amazing sound in the world is still hearing your new baby cry for the first time.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year?  Can’t think of any.  God I suck at this.

This year has flown by so fast that I can’t remember half of it.  I spent so much of it suffering from placenta brain, that I honestly couldn’t tell you which way was up for half the year.  But it’s over, and here’s hoping for great things and new opportunities in 2010!

Published in: on January 1, 2010 at 10:04 pm  Leave a Comment  

What did you expect?

Um… hi there.  So, I know it’s been forever and you all want to know how everything went after we had the baby and I swear I was just about to get around to telling you, but then life got in the way and… I have a baby… and a toddler…

Oh never mind.

I spent the rest of the day after having Anwyn drugged out of my mind.  Really, I couldn’t tell you anything that happened that day.  I was released a few days later.  The end.

But it wasn’t the end.  After getting home I took my sweet time healing, and ended up getting a uterine infection 5 weeks later.  That was one of the most horrific experiences ever, because apparently a sign that you might have an infection in there is that you bleed.  Lots of sudden blood.  I thought I was dying and my husband rushed me to the hospital only to find out they couldn’t see anything actually wrong with me.  The Dr. the next day determined that I had an infection and gave me medicine.  The whole thing seemed rather anticlimactic in the end.

Anwyn is huge.  Well, she’s normal, but to me she seems big.  She giggles and coos and makes weird faces when she farts and does all those wonderful silly things that babies are supposed to do.  She loves bath time and hates tummy time.  She will be four months old at the end of the month, and I think she might be getting her first tooth because she has suddenly decided she has to gnaw and drool all over everything.  She hasn’t rolled over yet, but I think she’s strong enough to.  She rolls onto her side and just stays there.  I can’t leave her on her tummy long enough for her to roll onto her back because my ears can’t handle the noise she makes when I try, and nothing in the world will convince her to roll from her back to her tummy.  So she rolls onto her side and makes silly noises and I’ll just have to accept that.

She’s so strong already.  Her legs, arms, neck, everything is perfect.  She doesn’t have the motor skills to do half of what she wants to, and you can see her trying to work that out sometimes.  She’ll watch Ashton do something and try to mimic him, figuring out how he does it.  She has started to show interest in other babies and kids.  She giggles and talk to them.  The only trouble is, she doesn’t seem to understand that the ones on t.v. can’t respond to her.  So by the end of most shows that feature kids she’s yelling at the television, determined to get their attention.  It’s kind of funny  to watch.

That’s about all there is to tell, really.  I’m dancing again and loving it.  Aaron’s still hunting for a new place to work (he has a job, but would like something new).  Life is pretty much still going on the way it was before.  We just have one more person in it now, is all.

Speaking of the new person… it’s time for her to wake up.  Wish me luck!

The O.R.

This could take a while to get through.  I guess I’ll just have to do it in installations.

Our O.R. nurse what a blast.  While I was in triage she cracked jokes with us, was hyper and silly as hell.  She kept telling us how much fun we were, and how most people were no fun at that hour.  I would have told her that I’m usually no fun when I’m woken up early, but since I never went to sleep it didn’t seem to be a problem.  I wasn’t even getting hungry, thanks to Dad’s nifty little super seed.

(BTW, they were chia seeds.  Yes, chia as in chia pets.  The seeds are apparently really good at helping you release sugars slowly, and are even better for you than flax seeds.)

When the labor and delivery nurse came in to talk to our OR nurse, our nurse made faces behind her back and rolled her eyes.  She was apparently not a fan of hers, and didn’t make any attempt to hide it from us, which made me like her even more.  The anesthesiologist came in to let me know what was going on, and exactly what he was going to do when we got into the OR.  He was so much nicer and calmer than the doctor I had when I had Ashton (and considerably younger, and a bit cuter).  Then they wheeled me into the room.

My sunny and bubbly disposition vanished.  I instantly began shaking violently.  They kept telling me it was cold in there, which I could feel was the case, but I knew I was terrified.  They got me on the table, numbed me from the waist down, and laid me down on the table to prepare for surgery.  Aaron could see through the window the needle that they put in my back.  Thankfully, I could not.  From the way he described it, I would have had an instant panic attack.

The music was an interesting mix of country from every decade, 80’s pop, and some more recent top 40 hits.  When Madonna’s Vogue came on, one of the nurses commented that she was unfamiliar with the song.  The others in the room where shocked to hear this, and talked about going out dancing to this song.  Jokes were made about my OB being a dancer and he declared that he was a disco king.  Everyone started laughing and I commented that I didn’t want to know what was happening on the other side of the sheet (they had the sheet up at this point, but had not actually started surgery yet).  For my benefit, my doctor came over to where I could see him, and struck his disco pose once more.

They let Aaron in the room, and got started working on me.  Most of it becomes a blur at this point.  I remember smelling burning flesh (I had a tubal while they did the cesarian section) and I remember feeling lots of pressure as they pushed her down (she was still sitting pretty high).  The only moment during the surgery that I remember was hearing the words “the gay-dar really worked on that one.”  Thinking this was an odd statement I asked what they were talking about.  (Actually I asked if I had actually just heard the word gay-dar).  They all laughed and told me that they were talking about American Idol, while they were cutting me open.  Seriously, I’m not sure how I’ll ever take my OB-GYN seriously ever again.

The nurse standing next to me smiled and told me she was out.  All I could think (and apparently say) was “Cry, cry, cry, come on cry, please cry.”  I needed to hear her voice and know she was ok.  Finally, once they got her airway cleared, she let out a very loud and healthy cry.  And I cried, and then I threw up.  I’m pretty sure those things weren’t related, just happened close to each-other.  My anesthesiologist tried desperately to give me anti-nausea meds, but nothing worked.  I was going to be sick whether they liked it or not.

They quickly finished up, I felt lots more pressure, and they wheeled both me and our new little bundle of angry to my recovery room.  As soon as she was out of the womb she was rooting (between screams) so I was able to nurse her right away.

Published in: on September 22, 2009 at 3:55 am  Leave a Comment  

Long Overdue


Yeah I’m still here.  I’m still alive.  Life with a newborn and a toddler is really exciting.  And by exciting I mean exhausting.  And miserable.  And totally sleep deprived.  Basically, I’m begging you to forgive me for totally blowing you all off when you were patiently waiting for me to tell you all about having our baby.  Please?

So the basics… Anwyn Renea was born August 31, at 8:03 am.  She weighed 5 lbs. 5 ozs. and was 19 inches long.

We had to go in for pre-op on Friday.  They basically got all my paperwork done, and drew all of the blood that they needed.  This would apparently take two people, three needles, three needle holes, and a whole lot of arguing with my veins to cooperate to get done.  For some reason my body refused to bleed for them.  I usually bleed really easily, so this was strange.

There was a couple in there when we arrived.  A young girl (late teens, I think?  Maybe 20) who was not yet 30 weeks, and was a first timer.  She was told that what she was feeling was normal, but not labor.  I remember being that far along with Ashton and reading everything possible about any discomfort I felt.  Every little thing meant a trip to the computer or the considerable amount of reading material my Dr gave me when I first came in.  I always knew the answer to every feeling I had.

Later when we were filling out paper work another couple came in (yet again, expecting their first).  It turns out her water had broken.  She made certain to tell the nurses that this was her first pregnancy so she wasn’t sure if she was going into labor or not.   It was kind of cute seeing her there, trying to remain calm and collected.  She answered all of their questions clearly, and had the feeling of someone who was on top of everything.  Her husband (I’m guessing) had the most terrified stare on his face.  He looked completly lost.  When we got back into the car Aaron and I talked about them, and how the roller coaster was just starting for them.  We talked about the first time we went through this, and how much like that couple we were (only I wasn’t at all collected.  I completely checked out when they talked about inducing).  This time was so different, so calm, so organized.  It promised to be a very different experience from the first time.

Sunday night I ate like a freaking queen.  Mom spoiled me with nice cuts of meat, and an awesome meal.  Dad went and got me a special seed that would help me keep my energy up the next day since I couldn’t eat anything.  Aaron made me biscuits (which I finished all of) around 11:00 pm.  Then I went to bed and didn’t sleep a wink.  The next morning we had to be at the hospital before 6:00 am.  Those of you who know me well or have ever seen me in the morning can imagine how well that went.  But it wasn’t too bad, the seeds Dad had fed me did the trick, and I was bubbly and energetic up until they wheeled me into the O.R.

Published in: on September 20, 2009 at 10:00 pm  Leave a Comment  

And Now We Know

Ok, I already have a boy.  I know what to do with a boy.  I’ve got the boy thing mostly figured out.  I don’t understand him… but I can mostly handel him.  Boys should not present any problem.  On that note…

What the hell am I suposed to do with a girl?

Yes, I know, it wouldn’t have mattered what the gender was.  They would have been completly different anyway.  The problem with kids is none of them follow the blinkin rules.  The “experts” come out and say all this stuff, and I’ve never met a kid that followed any of it.

Maybe it’s because kids can’t read yet.

So… there you have it.  Ladies and Gentelmen, I would like to introduce everyone to Anwyn Renea Thomas.  I will try to scan the sono photos soon so I can get them onto flickr.

Blog Fail

So things keep happening around me and I keep thinking, “I should totally blog about this,” and then I totally forget about it because I suck.  So, you would have more blogs if it weren’t for the fact that I am an absolute failure at all of this nonsense.  I’ll go back a few weeks and try to remember stuff:

First Scarby started.  For those of you not in the know, Scarborough Renaissance Festival started a few weeks ago.  We went opening day and saw lots of familiar faces.  Some of them were welcome, and some were very much not, but they were seen none the less.  My bestest friend saw her ex, and it triggered a huge turning point for her.  This is a good step.  He seems to have a profound and unhealthy effect on the women he dates, but that’s really not the point.  Anyway, the point is a good time was had by all.

The next day I spent with my in laws while Aaron spent the entire day out at Scarby again (this time to work).  I got some crafty stuff done and such.  The rest of the week was not very eventful.  Friday came around and Lissa and I went to the Fort Worth Zoo in search of donkeys.  They didn’t have any, but we got some fun footage of animals and us being silly.  Ashton tried to run us both ragged while we were there.  My parents got to the house an hour or so after we did, and we all went out to dinner.  The night ended with Lissa and I desperately trying to finish editing footage from the previous week in a timely manner.  Not sure we were all that successful.  Aaron and Dad did other geeky stuff.

Next night was dinner with the whole family for my sister Tasha’s belated birthday.  I think that the restaurant was trying to immobilize us with all the food they gave us, but we managed to waddle out of the restaurant on our own.  We made mead that night.  And we stayed up LATE again.

Easter Sunday happened.  My parents left that morning, I spent the day with Aaron’s family (without him) and the kids ran around and wore themselves out.  I got Ashton a really cool Easter basket, which I failed to take pictures of because I suck like that.  It had some candy and a Cat in the Hat plush and the book.  He overlooked the stuffed animal at first, but now he’s sleeping with it and dragging it around.  Too cute.

I’ll do a whole other post about the pregnancy in a few days.  Just don’t have it in me right now.