Monkey On His Back

So I finally decided to break down and get a harness buddy for my insanely active toddler.  We were at World Market getting some new chairs for the dining room (as an anniversary gift to ourselves) and there happened to be a Target next door.  While Aaron was helping them load stuff into the car, I went next door with Ashton to see if they had what we were looking for.  I had originally looked at a monkey, because that seemed insanely fitting for my son.  All they had were bears, and I knew that if I went anywhere this weekend, I would want this thing.  So I tried to convince him that a bear would be awesome.

I handed him the bear and, with my best excited voice, asked him,”Isn’t this a cute bear Ashton?”

“Yeah,” was his response.  He took the bear from me and tried hugging it a few times.  Feeling optimistic, I asked if we should take Mr. Bear home.  “No.”  And Mr. Bear found himself being thrown from the cart and onto the floor.

I picked up the bear and tried again, this time with all of the enthusiasm I could muster.  I got the exact same (if a little more annoyed) reaction.  This went on a few more times.  I decided to wander around to see if I could get someone to help.  Maybe they had monkeys somewhere and I was just blind.  I didn’t find anyone to help, but I did find my husband coming to find us.  “Did they not have it?”  He asked.

“They didn’t have the monkey, but they have a bear.”

“Did you have your heart set on a monkey?”

So I took him to the bears and showed him the delightful reaction I got when trying to force the bear on our fickle child.

“Ashton, look at the really cute bear!  Don’t you want to take the bear home?”


“Well, what if we just put the bear in the basket.  How about that?”

“NO!” And he reached into the basket and threw the bear as hard as he could.  By now Aaron got the idea and agreed that we should at least ask if they had any monkeys.  We headed up to customer service and were “helped” by a lady who not only had no idea what we were talking about, but I’m pretty sure had no idea what she was doing.  She looked up something and started talking about colors and sizes and how she didn’t see any different patterns.  I looked at her blankly and declared, “It’s a stuffed animal!”  I might have yelled that last bit because she gave me a somewhat worried look.  Aaron thanked her for her help (if that’s what you could call it) and led me out of the store.

We hit another Target on the way home. By then the other child (aka parasite) had been using my bladder as a punching bag and I couldn’t stand it anymore.  I ran into the bathroom as Aaron took Ash to find a monkey.  As I walked toward the kids section, I saw Aaron walking back with what looked like an empty cart.  My heart sank.  Did they not have monkeys either?  Did he have the exact same reaction?  Was this stupid idea not going to work?

The reason I couldn’t see the monkey was that it was in my son’s demanding hands.  He was trying to tear it out of the box by the time I reached them, and we had to ask the cashier to cut it out for him.

He wears the silly thing around the house and tells you all about his back pack.  Constantly.  We have yet to use the “tail”, but he’s so happy wearing the silly thing that I think it will be ok.  I guess we’ll find out.

Published in: on April 30, 2009 at 3:50 am  Leave a Comment  

21 Weeks

I’m 21 weeks along, close to five months pregnant.  Everything is going well, the baby looks healthy.  I’m gaining the right amount of weight and size.  Things are going swimmingly.

We did another sonogram today to see if we could get a glimpse at the baby’s gender.  The kid had it’s back turned to us the whole time, but we could at least see between it’s legs from the back.  Since there was no sign of male genitalia, the doctor is guessing that it’s a girl.  There is still no way to be sure of this, so I’m going to wait YET ANOTHER MONTH before I feel that I know for sure.  So no screaming it from the mountain tops… yet.

I think I might have to break down and get a harness for Ashton.  He’s way too quick and active and has no interest in staying anywhere near his parents.  I have no idea how other parents train their children to stay close, but it seems to have something to do with the child’s desire to not lose his mom and dad.  My kid couldn’t care less, it seems.  I found a really cute monkey backpack, where the tail is actually detachable a strap for parents to hold onto.  For about 10 to 13 bucks I won’t have to worry as much anymore.  I finally reached this decision when we went to Scarborough Faire yesterday and I was by myself with the boy.  With no stroller (because it’s kind of a pain to deal with out there) it was almost impossible to keep him in check.  So… monkey backpack.  They’re actually called harness buddies.  I’ve never liked the idea of putting a leash on a kid, but Ashton is way more active than most, and I can’t keep up with him in my “current state”.

There are several parents who call this lazy.  I would like them to chase my son around for a few hours and then have a chat with me.  It’s not lazy, it’s just desperation.  My favorite comment of all is that you can train a dog to heel, you should be able to train a child just as easily.  How do you train a dog to heel?  I always used a short leash.  Somehow the logic just doesn’t translate there.

Okay I’ll stop my silly rant here.  I know it sounds like I’m trying to justify myself and this decision, and I kind of am.  To myself.  I’ve just been against the idea for so long that I’m having a tiny issue coming to terms with the fact that this might just save my sanity.

This is all for now.  You will know as soon as I do about the parasite and it’s details.

Published in: on April 27, 2009 at 4:50 pm  Leave a Comment  


This Monday will mark the half way point for us.  20 weeks.  It can only get more exciting from here, right?

Because the doctor is super paranoid with this pregnancy (Ashton had some problems, putting me at high risk for getting pregnant again) he’s done a sonogram I think every time I’ve gone in.  We had an official one last visit, to make sure the baby is ok and hopefully see the gender.  The baby is either shy, or very very VERY interested in that part of his/her anatomy, because it wouldn’t take it’s hand out from between it’s legs.  And because it was still a little early, we couldn’t see anything.  So the fetus is still an “it”.  I’ll just continue calling it a parasite for now.  It’s fun, because it makes everyone around me crazy when I do that.

I just don’t feel all that connected to this baby.  Not like I did with my last pregnancy.  Maybe I got myself so psyched out in the first couple of months (I was sure that I was going to lose it) that I’ve not been able to get back to that attachment?  I genuinely have no idea.  With Ashton, I could feel how he was doing all the time.  I knew he was a boy long before the doctors did.  There were no surprises until he was actually born, and had been having difficulties.  Even that wasn’t much of a shock.  I went to the hospital because something didn’t feel right.  I was so in tuned with him.

This one?  I just can’t get a feel for it at all.  I know it’s active because we’ve seen on the sonograms how squirmy it is.  But I just don’t feel as much movement as I would have expected.  And I really have no clue about the gender.  I have always imagined myself having two boys.  I would love a girl, but I’ve never imagined having one, and the idea really never crossed my mind.  Now that it’s a real possibility that this baby will be a girl (50/50 at least) I’m not sure how to respond.  I would like to know so I can adjust my brain to the idea of it.  That and so I can clear out all of the boy clothes that we’ve kept behind from Ashton’s wardrobe.  And buy new stuff.  It would also be nice to be able to tell my mother so she’ll stop bugging me about it.  And you thought I was impatient!

On the outside, Ashton is bound and determined to make me insane.  This whole “I’m not taking a nap and you can’t make me” thing is crap.  The bedtime routine hasn’t gotten much better.  The potty training has improved by leaps and bounds, but only when he’s in a good mood, which is not when he’s tired.  So you can see the problem we’re having this week.  My mood isn’t helping things much, because I’ve not gotten a decent night’s sleep in about a week either.  Maybe the kid and I just need a break from each other.

I’ll let you know about the baby as soon as I do.

Published in: on April 16, 2009 at 8:36 pm  Leave a Comment  

Blog Fail

So things keep happening around me and I keep thinking, “I should totally blog about this,” and then I totally forget about it because I suck.  So, you would have more blogs if it weren’t for the fact that I am an absolute failure at all of this nonsense.  I’ll go back a few weeks and try to remember stuff:

First Scarby started.  For those of you not in the know, Scarborough Renaissance Festival started a few weeks ago.  We went opening day and saw lots of familiar faces.  Some of them were welcome, and some were very much not, but they were seen none the less.  My bestest friend saw her ex, and it triggered a huge turning point for her.  This is a good step.  He seems to have a profound and unhealthy effect on the women he dates, but that’s really not the point.  Anyway, the point is a good time was had by all.

The next day I spent with my in laws while Aaron spent the entire day out at Scarby again (this time to work).  I got some crafty stuff done and such.  The rest of the week was not very eventful.  Friday came around and Lissa and I went to the Fort Worth Zoo in search of donkeys.  They didn’t have any, but we got some fun footage of animals and us being silly.  Ashton tried to run us both ragged while we were there.  My parents got to the house an hour or so after we did, and we all went out to dinner.  The night ended with Lissa and I desperately trying to finish editing footage from the previous week in a timely manner.  Not sure we were all that successful.  Aaron and Dad did other geeky stuff.

Next night was dinner with the whole family for my sister Tasha’s belated birthday.  I think that the restaurant was trying to immobilize us with all the food they gave us, but we managed to waddle out of the restaurant on our own.  We made mead that night.  And we stayed up LATE again.

Easter Sunday happened.  My parents left that morning, I spent the day with Aaron’s family (without him) and the kids ran around and wore themselves out.  I got Ashton a really cool Easter basket, which I failed to take pictures of because I suck like that.  It had some candy and a Cat in the Hat plush and the book.  He overlooked the stuffed animal at first, but now he’s sleeping with it and dragging it around.  Too cute.

I’ll do a whole other post about the pregnancy in a few days.  Just don’t have it in me right now.

We’ve Done it Again

So my bestest friend Lissa and I have started a video blog.  The very first episode will go up tomorrow, at some point.  If I can find out what time she wants to put it up I’ll start a count down on twitter or something.

Basically it’s the two of us acting like we’re being tacky and catty bitches.  So a standard Friday night for us.  We’re hoping that other people think it’s as funny as we do, but who knows.  So far it seems to be the main segment (whatever main thing we’re doing that week), some footage of Aaron doing whatever he wants, and Twitter Time.  Twitter time is where we answer questions or take requests from Twitter.  This started because of someone named Josh Cagan* asking us about donkey punching.  Really, watch the episode tomorrow and you’ll understand.

So you can find this amazing train wreck over at Oh My God Friday.**

I will be adding it to my blog roll list so it will be easy for everyone to find.  Check us out.  Give us your support.  Tell us when we’re being stupid.  Give us ideas to talk about.  And for the love of God feed our desperate need for attention!!! (We’re a little silly)

*Look!  Bold print!  That means you should click on it!

** Bold means click.  And you should check us out.  Really.  We’re funny.  We laugh all the time.