Body Works

On December 29 I was feeling a little bit odd.  I was two days away from my period and something just didn’t feel right.  I honestly have no idea why, or what this feeling was, but something in the back of my mind told me that all was not normal.  We had a rather large night coming up (January 31) and I wanted to make sure I didn’t do anything that I would later regret, so out of curiosity I went to the bathroom, dug out a pregnancy test that had been there a few months (from the last time I thought I was pregnant, probably around August) and proceeded to… well… if you don’t know how they work then I’m not about to explain it to you.

Because I’m insanely impatient I watched the moisture creep along the test and watched as the lines appeared.  This was the kind that shows a blue plus sign, but it was extremely faint.  I genuinely had no idea whether this was a positive result or not.  So, after fretting for a while, I went to the drug store and got another two pack.  I considered getting the digital one, but it’s expensive and I’d only want to spend that kind of money if I was 90% sure I was pregnant (which seems kind of silly).  Because I was only about 75% (and even that might have been a bit high) I got a simpler brand.  This was the kind that showed two pink lines, and to me seemed like it would be easier to read.  I did my thing, waited, and again saw one strong line and one faint one.  This time it was slightly easier to read, but not by much.

I bounced for the rest of the day, and when Aaron came home I told him that I probably wouldn’t be able to drink at the party later that week.  And then I fell into a fit of giggles.  And cried a little.  I told him I still wasn’t 100% sure since I hadn’t gotten a dark line from any test.  He told me to wait two days and use the last one.  I waited one (see? impatient) and still got a much darker line.  I now had three test that all said the same thing, and a period that didn’t look like it was going to start anytime soon.

I made an appointment that week to see the Doctor, and a week later I had an appointment.  On Wednesday I saw the nurse and got all my blood work done.  I made plans to see the Doctor on Friday.  Thursday is when things went bad.  My body seized up and made it impossible to move.  Everything hurt, and I was terrified that things were going wrong.  Aaron came home for a few hours, because I couldn’t move, and I called the Doctor’s office to get advice.  There was no blood, so they weren’t worried (they were going to see me the next day anyway).  If I started to bleed heavily I needed to go to the hospital, but otherwise I should just take it easy.  The pain passed and I never got anything other than brown spotting, and I went in the next day.  They did a sono and couldn’t find a heart beat, but it was still too early to tell.

Over the next four weeks I bled off and on, panicked a few times because I was certain that I would lose the baby, and finally after one particularly bad night had my visit moved up a week.  They did a sono, found a perfectly strong heart beat, and the cause of all my bleeding.  Not far from the baby is a… mass.  The Doctor had a few theories about what it was, and none of them are life threatening or dangerous to me or the baby, but whatever it is it was hemorrhaging.  So I have to take it extra easy for the next few weeks and try to not lift anything heavy or do any really strenuous activity with, um, that part of my body.  Which puts belly dance right out the window.

So if anyone wants to come over during the week and help me out with the toddler that I’m not supposed to pick up, that would be wonderful!