In The Event of My Death

I’m dying. I can’t breath, and seem to be oxygen deprived. I’m dizzy ALL THE TIME and it doesn’t seem to matter if I take drugs. I can’t sleep. Sleep tends to include breathing, and as we’ve already covered…
This sucks. I’ve sneezed so hard over the last couple of days that my throat actually hurts. My abs hurt from sneezing so hard, and from a bad case of… well… abdomen pain that I suffered through on Wednesday. I was actually immobile for a couple of hours. This was not my favorite experience ever.
I went to the doctor on Thursday. This had nothing to do with being sick or my tummy hurting, and everything to do with our attempts to continue spawning. They checked a bunch of hormones, talked to me about how to remain healthy (as I sat there clearly DYING from not being able to breath) and general stuff like that. As it turns out the results from the test they did a few months ago have changed, and I am now suffering from hypothyroidism. This is a bad thing, especially for people trying to get pregnant. So it’s getting treated. They want me to be super healthy, so they MADE ME take a flu shot. I have not had one in years, and let me tell you just how pleasant they are. I forgot how much those fuckers hurt.
The reason my Doctor is going through all of this is because of Ashton. When I had him he was very sick at birth, and if it had not been for my own intuition, he might not have survived. When I went to the hospital with him, everyone (husband and nurses alike) told me that all of my discomforts and fears were perfectly normal at that stage. I went in anyway and they were all like, “See? We told you this was normal. Silly overreacting pregnant lady. Oh wait, shit, um… the baby’s not happy and we have to take him out RIGHT NOW or he might die. So… good for you for coming in even when we told you that you didn’t need to.” So there is a lot of preliminary prep for the next baby that will possibly eventually happen. Lets all keep our fingers crossed that when and if it does that everything goes well.
So… hypothyroidism, flu shots, plague and not breathing. I smell like mentholated rub, and I am so ok with that. As bad as I feel (and Aaron has the same ick) menthol is the sexiest smell in the world.


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