Haunted Ebay

This is not a post updating you on my family or anything like that.  You just got one of those.  If you come here for a baby fix, go look at the flickr account.  This is something else all together.

I was looking at Regretsy (great site, by the way.  You should totally click that) and came across this really strange doll.  I thought to myself, surely this is not a normal kind of thing.  This person just has a random doll that they don’t like and want to make some money on.  As it turns out, they, um, collect haunted dolls.  And they seem to only collect sexually perverse dolls.  Or they only sell sexually perverse ones.  For lots of money.  Either way, this is not a normal occurrence, right?  WRONG!

Apparently there’s a rather considerable market for possessed dolls on Ebay.  I looked up haunted dolls and got pages.  So I have a few questions…

Why should we believe that they are haunted.  Wouldn’t they be all over the news or Syfy channel? These seem to be very active dolls, so why haven’t we heard about them before?  Maybe you should try to catch some of their “behavior” on video so that the buyer knows what they’re getting in for.

Who on Earth would want to purchase a doll that they know to be haunted?  Wouldn’t that be kind of creepy?

Why are the most evil and sexually perverse dolls the most expensive?  Seriously.  It like saying “This doll will give you nightmares and destroy your stuff.  You should pay me at least $100 for it.  Maybe $200.”

My favorite part… many of these post say that you should be sane of mind if you intend to purchase one of these dolls.  Somehow I don’t see that happening.

Toddlers and Grief

Living with a toddler can be similar to the grieving process at times.  This hadn’t occurred to me until today when I was trying to get him to take a nap.  The only issue is that you have a tendency to go back and forth through the steps instead of hitting one at a time and then moving on.  It’s exciting.

Denial – “This can’t be my child.  My child was an amazing, smart, and well behaved kid.  This child showed up a few months ago and is making our lives miserable.  He’s evil, EVIL!  He screams like a banshee and demands everything and gets into things and is trying to destroy the house.  It’s our job to keep him safe, but he insists on spending several hours a day attempting to kill himself with these dare devil acts.  This can’t be the same kid!”

Anger – “SO HELP ME CHILD IF YOU DON”T STOP ACTING LIKE THIS I WILL LOCK YOU IN YOUR ROOM UNTIL YOU”RE 30!”*

Bargaining – “Listen baby.  If you stay in bed and take a nap like a good boy, we can watch Monsters (Monster Inc) when you get up.  Do you want to watch Monsters?  Well you have to be a very good boy and stay in bed.  If you get out of bed you’ll get in trouble and Mommy doesn’t want to be mean anymore.  So go to bed, and we can watch Monsters when you get up because you’ve been a good boy.”

Depression** – “My life is over and I’ll never get to watch a movie again that isn’t Toy Story, Monsters Inc, or Little Einstein and I’m losing my mind and I know all of the songs and dialog from these movies by heart.  My house is a pit and I never get a chance to clean and I havn’t gotten dressed in two days and I want to go to the bathroom ALL BY MY SELF JUST ONCE!”

Acceptance – “Honey?  Yeah it’s your wife.  Call your parents and see if  we can pawn off the demon monkey*** for a night and do something that doesn’t involve crayons play dough or cartoons.  I’ve given up wanting to spend quality time with him, I want quality time without him.  Thanks love!”

*No I would not lock my kid in his room until he’s 30.  But that’s not to say that the thought has never entered my mind

** I am not actually depressed. or suffering any actual grief.  I’m just exhausted.

*** Yes we do call him demon monkey sometimes.  What?

In The Event of My Death

I’m dying. I can’t breath, and seem to be oxygen deprived. I’m dizzy ALL THE TIME and it doesn’t seem to matter if I take drugs. I can’t sleep. Sleep tends to include breathing, and as we’ve already covered…
This sucks. I’ve sneezed so hard over the last couple of days that my throat actually hurts. My abs hurt from sneezing so hard, and from a bad case of… well… abdomen pain that I suffered through on Wednesday. I was actually immobile for a couple of hours. This was not my favorite experience ever.
I went to the doctor on Thursday. This had nothing to do with being sick or my tummy hurting, and everything to do with our attempts to continue spawning. They checked a bunch of hormones, talked to me about how to remain healthy (as I sat there clearly DYING from not being able to breath) and general stuff like that. As it turns out the results from the test they did a few months ago have changed, and I am now suffering from hypothyroidism. This is a bad thing, especially for people trying to get pregnant. So it’s getting treated. They want me to be super healthy, so they MADE ME take a flu shot. I have not had one in years, and let me tell you just how pleasant they are. I forgot how much those fuckers hurt.
The reason my Doctor is going through all of this is because of Ashton. When I had him he was very sick at birth, and if it had not been for my own intuition, he might not have survived. When I went to the hospital with him, everyone (husband and nurses alike) told me that all of my discomforts and fears were perfectly normal at that stage. I went in anyway and they were all like, “See? We told you this was normal. Silly overreacting pregnant lady. Oh wait, shit, um… the baby’s not happy and we have to take him out RIGHT NOW or he might die. So… good for you for coming in even when we told you that you didn’t need to.” So there is a lot of preliminary prep for the next baby that will possibly eventually happen. Lets all keep our fingers crossed that when and if it does that everything goes well.
So… hypothyroidism, flu shots, plague and not breathing. I smell like mentholated rub, and I am so ok with that. As bad as I feel (and Aaron has the same ick) menthol is the sexiest smell in the world.

Good Bye 2008

This was not an exciting year for me.  Really, it wasn’t.  I didn’t work, didn’t have any great revelations about myself, didn’t grow, didn’t change.  I’m a little annoyed with myself, actually.

Ashton changed so much that it was scary.  But then again, he turned two in October, so I think that’s a requirement. Aaron picked up his violin again and has started to combine hobbies.  He’s played violin for studio functions twice now, and played for Isis’ New Years Eve show.

I look through my Myspace and I don’t see anything.  Sure, I performed at different events, and I joined the MultiCultural Dance Team at the studio, but that’s really all I’ve done.  I guess I’ve read some good books.  I’ve become nothing but a mom who happens to have some hobbies.  My weight hasn’t changed much – it may have even gotten worse over the last couple of months -  so there wasn’t any great accomplishment there.  I just existed.

So I have some goals…

I need to get myself out of the “routine” routines that I’ve been doing for the studio.  I need some new inspiration.  I’m working on it

I want to light a fire under Isis’ ass and see about getting a parade detail worked out.  We (the studio) haven’t done a single parade in the last year, unless you count Scarborough Faire.  I’d like to have an actual group who does parades, and actual small choreographies within them.

I want to pick up a more productive hobby.  I want to get better with my jewelry making and actually see about setting up an Etsy acount and sell some stuff.  This is going to reuqire some new equipment, instead of me faking it with what I have (peyote beads don’t work with a regular needle very well.  I need some proper bead needles).  I would also like to learn to tat and combine the tatting and bead work.

If I could find a way to pick up some extra time working on flowers, I would love that.  I’ve offered to help some friends who have a shop, and I would like to learn as much as I can.  I really want to do this for a living.

So there you have it.  Not very lofty goals, but you have to start somewhere.  Most of them involve educating myself further in the things I enjoy.  Hopefully I can take the things I love and become successful with them.  Wish me luck!

Someone Please Explain This To Me

This is not going to be a post about our candidates.  This is not me telling you who I plan to vote for (because that should already be painfully obvious).  This is not me telling you who is good and who is evil, because quite frankly neither of them are perfect.  And this is not me telling you how offended I was by a certain remark made by a certain candidate during the last debate.  You know, the one that was punctuated with quotation marks and his eyes rolling into the back of his head.  All of this has been discussed at length on everyone else’s blogs.

This is a question that I very much need answered.  I just can’t wrap my head around it.

I understand how someone can be pro-life.  I really do.  It’s not something I agree with.  I think a woman should choose for herself, but I’m not sure that I could ever have made that decision if I had needed to.  Just because I couldn’t do it, doesn’t mean that it is not the right choice for other women out there.  But I understand the “every life is precious” stance.  Neither side of this argument is an easy position, and I applaud anyone who takes a definitive stance on it, regardless of what that stance is.

This is where we come to what I don’t understand.  Most people who are pro-life seem to have contradicting beliefs.  We should ban all abortions, and then turn around and refuse to teach these girls how to protect themselves from this kind of thing happening.  (This is just what I have witnessed with the people I’ve met and read about.  If this does not apply to you then please forgive me for making such a generalization.  Again, this is based solely on my own experience.) People who don’t want abortions to be legal seem to have the following beliefs…

• Abstinence education is the only way to go.  I don’t understand this at all.  Studies have shown that this is absolutely not true.  When I was a kid taking sex ed for the first time they explained everything to us.  We were told the basics of how birth control works.  We were shown condoms, and how they were put on.  We were then told all of the horrors of STD’s and why that condom is so important.  We were also told that there was only way that was guaranteed 100% fool-proof to keep any of this from happening to us, and that is abstinence.  They also explained that sex is a very emotional activity, and that most people our age are not prepared to deal with those intense emotions.  I was a virgin until I was almost 18.  I’d say that it was a success.
• Birth control should not be made easily available. Giving girls access to birth control does not mean that they are going to have sex.  It just doesn’t.  It means that if they decide to have sex, that they are considerably less likely to get pregnant, which is generally a good thing.  It means that they are educated and level headed enough to be prepared to have sex.  I had to be put on birth control for medical reasons unrelated to sex, and thanks to the stupid insurance companies, getting it covered was always a nightmare.

I really don’t understand this view point at all.  We don’t want women to terminate unwanted pregnancies, so it would stand to reason that we don’t want them to get pregnant in the first place.  So why is it that those who are pro-choice are usually the ones who want more thorough sex education and want to make birth control methods easily available?  That seems completely backwards to me!  Abstinence teaching methods will not work if you don’t present a consequence to the actions that you’re trying to prevent.  And even then it’s not too successful.  Please understand that we need to equip our children with the knowledge to protect themselves.  And understand that teaching abstinence will not work unless we get every girl in the U.S. fitted with a chastity belt at the age of 10.

I did something silly

Do you all remember a while back that I talked about how nice it would be to have a place to hide out on the Internet, where no one would know who I was and I could post anything I wanted?  Well the idea turned out to be too tempting.  I started a twitter with an anonymous name.  At first it was great!  I could get on there and talk about anything I wanted.  No one would ever be offended.  No one would ever get upset.  No one was supposed to ever know.

This was my therapy.  I would post anything that was troubling me.  Usually these posts were made when my emotions were heightened by some stress or another, and much more dramatic sounding then they ever were in real life.

A few nights ago we celebrated Aaron’s birthday with a few friends.  I got very impressively drunk.  Apparently I got onto the anonymous twitter and started posting some things that were easily recognizable.  I also told someone at the party about it (possibly more than one, but she’s all I remember).  This sort of destroys the aspect of anonymity.

I woke up the next day and saw the things I posted.  I remembered telling someone that it existed.  I instantly pulled it down.  It is now deleted and impossible to access.  No, I will never go into detail about what was posted there.  No, I will never tell anyone the specific name.  All I can say is I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I felt the need for that kind of secrecy.  I had never really used a private diary and I guess this was my substitute.  It’s about as public as you can get, but no one needed to know who it was.

Dear Ms. Palin

I wanted to take this time to express my concerns with you.  While you have many ideas that I do not agree with, I didn’t really have a problem with you.  You seem to have done good things in Alaska, and good for you.  I hear you want to bring some of those practices with you to the White House.  That’s great.  It would be really neat if you could handle some businesses around the country the way you have supposedly handled them up north.  Of course I believe that you have some ideas that your running mate would never let you run with, but that’s just how it works.  I only really have issues with your views on women’s rights and sexual education.  This is where we severely part ways, but even still, you didn’t bother me (too much).   Of course, I had already decided long before you came onto the scene that I would be voting Democratic, and I do hope that my team wins (naturally, you always want your team to win.  As a hokey fan I’m sure you can relate to that concept).  Even with all of the flack you’ve gotten, and the way you’ve presented yourself thus far, I hadn’t felt the need to say anything until now.

Your behavior at the debate was appalling.  I’m sorry, but there is no other way to put it.  Biden, while not perfect by any means, at least remained respectful and professional to both you and the moderator.  He didn’t always answer the questions as precisely as some might like, but he did remain on topic.  And he was always polite enough to refer to you as Governor Palin.  You came in and called him Joe right off the bat. You failed to answer several of the questions, instead insisting on talking about whatever you wanted.  You kept coming back to the subject of energy because that’s what you wanted to talk about, in spite of the fact that the topic had long since been dropped and you had already well spent your allotted time discussing it.

One of the worst issues I had with your performance at the debate was that you spoke to Biden directly instead of the moderator.  I was always under the impression that this was a faux pas.  You made statements such as “I’m going to have to correct you there, Joe,” (paraphrasing) which was just tacky.  You seemed as if you were almost challenging Biden.  While I understand that this is, in theory, the point of a debate, you are not meant to take it so literally.  You meant to seem (I’m guessing here) relaxed and accessible.  Instead you came across as disrespectful and unprofessional.  I would like to think that you would know better than that.

I’m a Texas girl.  I’m not overly prideful about this, but proud enough to be insulted when someone comes to my state, to my city no less, and calls Texas the little sister state of Alaska.  Are you kidding?  This is one of the most prideful states in the U.S.!  It’s the only state allowed to fly it’s flag along side the U.S. flag instead of below it.  To come in and essentially pat us on the head like a child is just ridiculous.

Please, understand that while you think you’re a maverick, you still have to play the game and at least attempt to remain respectful to those around you.

(Sorry to get so political on this page.  I just couldn’t keep it to myself anymore.  Not that anyone really reads this silly thing.)

Customers

So I’ve recently discovered this site http://notalwaysright.com/

It makes me giggle. Lots. And it reminds me of an interesting customer I once had.

As a senior in high school I worked at a local video store. It was owned by one of my neighbors and was very small. We had cigarettes behind the register, and a section for more… adult material in a back room. We also had a considerable number of regular customers.

One evening I was working all by my little lonesome, when a strange woman walked in. There had been people in and out all day, but few of them had come straight to the counter as this one did. She leaned forward so that she could speak to me very softly. “I need a pack of cigarettes,” she said. I started to ask her what kind when she cut me off, “but you can’t tell anyone I got them here.”

Now I had heard a number of odd requests working in this store, but that was a new one. I attempted to assure her that I didn’t think it would be a problem, but she seemed very concerned. “You don’t understand! People will come in here and ask if I bought them. They may even offer you money. But you can’t tell them! Please! I really need you to keep this a secret for me.”

“Ok, I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“Even if they pay you?”

“Even if they offer me money, I promise.”

Having finally convinced her that I would not betray her trust, I pulled down the brand of her choice and began to ring her up. At this time a gentleman walked out of the back section. He had gone in maybe a minute before this whole exchange started, and presumably had made his choice of, erm, viewing material. The lady saw him and freaked. “Who is that!”

She had confused me so badly during this conversation that I had honesly forgotten that there was anyone else in the store, let alone who it was. I told her that I wasn’t sure who the man was and she threw the packet of smokes down on the counter. “DAMMIT! They have spies everywhere! I can’t buy these here.” And she stormed out.

The gentleman walked up to the counter with his movie tickets (we had all of the tapes in the back storage area) and I instantly started laughing. The man was one of our regulars. He was also completely and totally deaf. He looked at me confused so I wrote down a brief description of what had just happened. He read it, gave me a look of confusion, and made the universal sign for crazy. I couldn’t have agreed more.

Hiding On The Internet

So I set up this new blog last night and I’ve started wondering if I did the right thing. Not about setting up the blog itself, that I don’t have issue with. The question is whether I made it too easy to find. It’s fairly obvious to anyone who knows me who’s blog this is.

This is a blog about me. I will not use pseudonyms. I will not mask anything. If I talk about you here, I will name names. That isn’t to say that I’m going to talk trash about everyone here, not at all. If there is someone frustrating me or something I need to get off my chest then I probably won’t say who it is, just describe the situation. If you see yourself talked about here in that way then that’s your problem, not mine.

And this brings me to the point. I wonder if I shouldn’t start a blog that no one knows about. That no one will ever know about. Where I can say exactly what’s on my mind and no one can get mad at me because it’s completely anonymous. I get tired of having to watch what I say on the internet sometimes. I get tired of people starting drama because I voiced an opinion. I have a journal where I can get away with some stuff, but there are still people who read that and it can easily come back to haunt me if I say the wrong thing. It would just be nice to have a place where I didn’t have to edit or censor myself.

It wouldn’t last. I know me. I’d let it slip that it exists, or want to show someone something I wrote about some situation or other, and the next thing I’d know everyone would be getting on to me about the things I said about… whatever.

It’s a bad idea. I’d never go through with it. But it’s still tempting.