What Updates?

Okay ladies and gents, I know I’m not very good at this updating business, and I warned you that I would probably not keep this up.  I feel guilty about this and do apologize.  I do have stuff to write about, just not the drive to do it.  So I have a plan (sort of).  I am going to try to blog at least once a week.  I know what you’re thinking, that it’s unlikely that I will manage to blog more than twice a month, and you’re probably right, but I’m still going to try.

Topics you can look forward to in the future…

Individual who’s who blogs.  I will set aside an entire blog for each of the important people in my life.  This way when I talk about the stupid ideas that they put into my head, you’ll know who to blame.

A blog about my hygiene. I know this doesn’t sound interesting, but I have some odd habits that I would like to share with you.  Brace yourselves.

An essay about my concept of love and affection. There are many different kinds of love, and I’ve experienced so many of them.  Just a review of how my idea of love has changed since I was a child.  You know… sappy shit.

Of course, I will also blog as things happen in my life.  So stay tuned, hold onto your seats, and all those other silly sayings.

Yes I’m alive

I know, I know, I’ve been neglecting you all.  I warned you that this would happen.

I don’t really have anything exciting to share with you lately.  The only thing going on in my life is attempting to make Ashton understand what the potty is for.  I can’t begin to tell you how exciting that is.  Yesterday I put him down for a nap and when I checked on him he had pulled both his pants and his pull ups off.  Thankfully nothing was wet.  I’ve discovered that pull ups are considerably more expensive than regular diapers.  It may be time to convert to cloth trainers.  That should make my life interesting.

I belong to a group called the Drunken Damsels.  We are a naughty wench act that roams around North Texas and sings at small Ren Faires.  If you are in or around the area of DFW and looking for an interesting act for your next event, give us a buzz over at The Drunken Damsels.  Now that I’ve gotten the plug out of the way, I can get back to the point.  We are working on recording some stuff.  The cd will be called “Just a Taste” and will have six tracks on it.  It’s a garage band recording, so nothing fancy, but we certainly are having fun with it.  Word of advice: if you plan on recording, don’t share three or four bottles of wine before doing so.  It doesn’t work out well and you end up with some interesting blackmail material.  Moving on.

I’m a belly dancer.  No really, I swear!  I’ve been dancing for over 6 years now.  I know this isn’t really that interesting to most of you, but I’m quite excited.  The studio I belong to has recently started a Multicultural Dance Team.  The purpose of this team is to learn the traditions of different Middle Eastern cultures and dances.  So we get to do the research, and create the choreographies, and then teach it to the rest of the team.  Then we can go to schools, libraries, and museums to give demonstrations.  I’m really looking forward to it!  We will have a featured segment in the upcoming Christmas Hafla in Grapevine TX.

Speaking of belly dancing, I will be performing this weekend, and I’m barely ready.  Like, half the routine is me faking it, but I don’t care.  It’s really the musicians that are being featured here, as it is an entirely new piece.  I can’t wait for everyone to see it (or, I guess in this instance, hear it).

So that’s been my life.  Singing, dancing, and toddler potties.  I guess I don’t need it to be any more exciting.

Customers

So I’ve recently discovered this site http://notalwaysright.com/

It makes me giggle. Lots. And it reminds me of an interesting customer I once had.

As a senior in high school I worked at a local video store. It was owned by one of my neighbors and was very small. We had cigarettes behind the register, and a section for more… adult material in a back room. We also had a considerable number of regular customers.

One evening I was working all by my little lonesome, when a strange woman walked in. There had been people in and out all day, but few of them had come straight to the counter as this one did. She leaned forward so that she could speak to me very softly. “I need a pack of cigarettes,” she said. I started to ask her what kind when she cut me off, “but you can’t tell anyone I got them here.”

Now I had heard a number of odd requests working in this store, but that was a new one. I attempted to assure her that I didn’t think it would be a problem, but she seemed very concerned. “You don’t understand! People will come in here and ask if I bought them. They may even offer you money. But you can’t tell them! Please! I really need you to keep this a secret for me.”

“Ok, I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“Even if they pay you?”

“Even if they offer me money, I promise.”

Having finally convinced her that I would not betray her trust, I pulled down the brand of her choice and began to ring her up. At this time a gentleman walked out of the back section. He had gone in maybe a minute before this whole exchange started, and presumably had made his choice of, erm, viewing material. The lady saw him and freaked. “Who is that!”

She had confused me so badly during this conversation that I had honesly forgotten that there was anyone else in the store, let alone who it was. I told her that I wasn’t sure who the man was and she threw the packet of smokes down on the counter. “DAMMIT! They have spies everywhere! I can’t buy these here.” And she stormed out.

The gentleman walked up to the counter with his movie tickets (we had all of the tapes in the back storage area) and I instantly started laughing. The man was one of our regulars. He was also completely and totally deaf. He looked at me confused so I wrote down a brief description of what had just happened. He read it, gave me a look of confusion, and made the universal sign for crazy. I couldn’t have agreed more.